Father Care

Why, you may be wondering, are mothers the focus of so much developmental research? Why not fathers, as well? The common assumption, long seen in child-custody decisions, has been that fathers are less interested and less competent than mothers in child care. Current increases in divorce and nonmarital births help foster this assumption: Half of today's American children and increasing numbers in other countries will spend time in a single-parent family, because 5.5 times as many live with their mothers as with their fathers (Myers, 2000). Of those living with their mothers, only 1 in 5 see their fathers at least weekly. In a typical year more than 35 percent never see their fathers. Psychologists, in subtle ways, have also sometimes assumed that fathers matter very little. Infants who lack a caring mother are said to suffer "maternal deprivation"; those lacking the care of a father are said merely to experience "father absence."

Across the world mothers do in fact assume more responsibility for infant care, and young children more quickly turn to their mothers for comfort and support (Hartup, 1989). Moreover, a breast-feeding mother and nursing infant have wonderfully coordinated biological systems that predispose their responsiveness to one another. Breast-feeding, an intimate and pleasurable source of perfect nutrition for an infant, serves also to moderate lactating mothers' stress-hormone response to challenging situations (Altemus & others, 1995). Ninety-five percent of university-educated Canadian mothers (though only 60 percent of those with less than a high school education) report having breast-fed their first child (Statistics Canada, 1999).

In contrast to this intimate situation, fathers in 37 percent of 186 cultures studied are only occasionally in close proximity to their infants; in another 20 percent, fathers are rarely or never with them (Hewlett, 1991). In the remaining 43 percent of cultures, however, fathers are frequently with their infants. And because an increasing number of contemporary fathers have become more involved in their infants' care, researchers have now become more interested in fathers.

One of the leading father-watchers, Ross Parke (1981), reported that fathers can be as interested in, sensitive to, and affectionate toward their infants as mothers typically are. Although most infants prefer their mothers when anxious, they are as distressed by their father's departure as by their mother's when left alone. Moreover, infants whose fathers have shared in their diapering, bathing, and feeding are more secure when left with a stranger. Preschoolers with involved fathers tend as adults to be especially concerned with being kind, sensitive, and warmhearted (Koestner & others, 1990). On the down side, just as mothers' psychological problems correlate with problems among their children, so do fathers’ (Phares & Compas, 1992).

As they looked for caregiving differences, research psychologists also uncovered several distinctive ways fathers and mothers interact with their infants. Fathers smile less at their babies. (Males smile less at everyone.) They spend more of their interaction in play rather than in caregiving (especially with sons). And their play is more physical (Parke, 1981).

However, fathers who are the primary caregivers interact with their babies as mothers typically do. And, separated from their preschoolers, fathers report feeling as much anxiety as do mothers (Deater-Deckard & others, 1994). This suggests that father-mother differences are not biologically fixed but have social roots as well. Animal research supports this. When Harlow caged monkey fathers with their infants, the fathers were protective and affectionate.

Children raised in two-parent families may reap an additional benefit: Mothers and fathers who support one another and who sense this mutual support and agreement in child-rearing are more responsive to their infants and feel more competent as parents (Dickie, 1987).

Thanks partly to this research, the meaning of "fathering" is shifting. "Fathering a child" once meant impregnating; "mothering" meant nurturing. More and more, people appreciate that fathers are not just mobile sperm banks. Fathering and mothering now both mean parenting.

For more information see the following websites:

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/athomedad/index.blog

http://careerplanning.about.com/cs/altoptgenl/a/stay_home_dads.htm

References

Altemus, M., Deuster, P. A., Galliven, E., Carter, C. S., & Gold, P. W. (1995). Suppression of hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis responses to stress in lactating women. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, 80, 2954–2959.

Deater-Deckard, K., Scarr, S., McCartney, K., & Eisenberg, M. (1994). Paternal separation anxiety: Relationships with parenting stress, child-rearing attitudes, and maternal anxieties. Psychological Science, 5, 341–346.

Dickie, J. R. (1987). Interrelationships within the mother-father-infant triad. In P. W. Berman & F. A. Pedersen (Eds.), Men's transitions to parenthood: Longitudinal studies of early family experience. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Hartup, W. W. (1989). Social relationships and their developmental significance. American Psychologist, 44, 120–126.

Hewlett, B. S. (1991). Intimate fathers. Ann Arbor, MI: University of Michigan Press (cited by D. Popenoe, The fatherhood problem. Institute for American Values Working Paper No. 40, October, 1993).

Koestner, R., Franz, C., & Weinberger, J. (1990). The family origins of empathic concern: A 26–year longitudinal study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58, 709–717.

Myers, D. G. (2000). The American paradox: Spiritual hunger in an age of plenty. New Haven: Yale University Press.

Parke, R. D. (1981). Fathers. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Phares, V., & Compas, B. E. (1992). The role of fathers in child and adolescent psychopathology: Make room for Daddy. Psychological Bulletin, 111, 387–412.

Statistics Canada (1999). Statistical report on the health of Canadians. Prepared by the Federal, Provincial and Territorial Advisory Committee on Population Health for the Meeting of Ministers of Health, Charlottetown, PEI, September 16-17, 1999.