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This topic sentence links to the thesis without merely repeating it. It also takes a literary walk barehead in the hot sun.” In one of the rare times she shifts from listing instructions 1
1
technique from the sample thesis and connects it to meaning — in this case, the and the rules of her community, the mother asks her daughter a question — “is it true that
TION
character of a mother who wants to maintain control over her daughter’s behavior, you sing benna in Sunday school?” — but she does not pause a moment to wait for an DIFFERENTIATION chapter 1
DIFFERENTIA
especially because the girl is on the precipice of becoming an independent young adult. answer, a point Kincaid emphasizes with a semicolon as her questions to her daughter
Scaffolding
continue relentlessly. In fact, the mother persists, making a harsh accusation: “on Scaffolding
Developing a Line of Reasoning with Evidence from the Text Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming.” Kincaid The analysis in this sample paragraph
The analysis in this sample paragraph
is primarily focused on how syntactical
Once you have the focus of a topic sentence, you can plan the development of the rest puts the daughter’s response in italics, almost as if she is whispering “but I don’t sing is primarily focused on how syntactical
components combine to cr
eate a line
of your paragraph. Prose fiction analysis, as you know, requires textual references, benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school.” The mother does not respond to her components combine to create a line
of reasoning. You may wish to ask
either via direct quotations or paraphrased references to the story. When you’re writing daughter’s protests; instead, she continues to hold center stage — a clear signal to the of r easoning. Y ou may wish to ask
small groups of students to rewrite the
Analyzing Short Fiction
an analysis or interpretation of a work, the text is your evidence. Quotations that are reader that the story isn’t about the daughter’s behavior so much as it is about the small gr oups of students to r ewrite the
commentary using the same evidence by
carefully chosen and incorporated into your own writing provide persuasive support for mother’s concern that her daughter may not grow up to follow the rules, stated or commentary using the same evidence by
focusing on the function of specific wor
ds
© Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers. For review purposes only. Do not distribute.
your thesis. unstated, of the community. focusing on the function of specific words
and phrases. Then, ask students to share
Take care to avoid quoting big chunks of text because your voice (not the author’s) and phrases. Then, ask students to shar e
their observations with the entir
e class.
should prevail in a close analysis — that is, you must offer thoughtful commentary on Notice how the highlighted parts of the paragraph are spread out, and the paragraph is Section 2 / From Reading to Writing: Crafting an AP ® Prose Fiction Analysis Essay their observations with the entire class.
no longer overrun by the quotations. Instead, the essay writer’s commentary shines
what you quote. One way you might check to make sure that you’re analyzing a work is
to highlight all your quotations from the text. The following paragraph incorporates through. The writer’s explanations of why those quotations support the topic sentence
of the paragraph form a line of reasoning that supports the writer’s interpretation of the
quotations from “Girl.”
story. The evidence that quotations provide is always important — you can’t perform a
By presenting the mother as the narrator of the story, and presenting her perspective in close analysis without going back into the text in this way — but evidence on its own is
what is essentially a monologue, Kincaid emphasizes the mother’s authority over her not convincing. Readers need you to explain why it matters.
daughter, a “girl,” who seems to be coming of age. She says, “Wash the white clothes on
Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday . . . don’t
walk barehead in the hot sun; cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil.” The mother Writing a Body Paragraph of an AP Prose Fiction Analysis Essay activity TRM Suggested Responses
®
asks, “is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?” and then tells her, “on Sundays try
to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming.” The daughter Choose one of the other two points in our sample thesis (p. 43). Then, write a body Suggested responses to the activity on
paragraph that uses textual evidence from “Girl” and commentary to support the overall
this page can be found in the Teacher’s
responds by saying, “but I don’t sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school,” interpretation of the story as a study of the complex relationships between the mother Resource Materials.
but her mother doesn’t even acknowledge hearing her. and daughter.
It’s true that the quotations from the story are accurate, and they are all — or could
be — relevant to the topic sentence. However, except for that topic sentence, this DIFFERENTIATION
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paragraph is almost entirely made up of quotations from “Girl.” In fact, it probably feels Revising an AP Prose Fiction Analysis Essay
as though you’re rereading the story itself. There is almost no commentary, which Revision is a vital step in the writing process. While at times it can seem difficult, it is Scaffolding
leaves the reader without a clear understanding of the paragraph writer’s interpretation. always worthwhile — taking time to reflect on your work can provide new insight. It also Students struggle to incorporate lexical
Compare that paragraph with the one that follows. While they share a similar doesn’t have to be a task you grapple with alone. With the benefit of feedback from a cohesiveness into their essays to
structure and even use some of the same quotations, the original commentary is what good critical reader, whether peer or teacher, you will also be able to see your work with increase fluency while establishing a line
moves the following paragraph toward analysis. Notice how the writer interprets the fresh eyes. Revising from that vantage point will give you a leg up for your next draft, of reasoning. They may enjoy filling in
effect and function of the literary elements and techniques that Kincaid has chosen. and your argument will emerge stronger than before. Keep in mind that you don’t have the missing words on “Mad Lib”-style
to follow every suggestion for revision you are given, but most are worth considering. paragraphs since they have to infer what
By presenting the mother as the narrator of the story, and presenting her perspective in kind of a pattern might emerge. Sites like
what is essentially a monologue, Kincaid emphasizes the mother’s authority over her The process of revision is more than proofreading. Of course, it’s absolutely deadlounge.com allow students to create
essential that you reread carefully to catch grammatical errors and learn to edit
daughter, a “girl,” who seems to be coming of age. From the first word, the mother is the a variety of “darkly gothic” poems that
voice readers hear as she issues one instruction after another: “Wash the white clothes on yourself by scrutinizing the language you’re using — your own diction and syntax. incorporate words to support a thematic
But this is revising at the micro level. The most satisfying revision comes from taking
Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday . . . don’t concern. You might also delete words
the word literally: re-vision — that is, looking at your entire essay in a new light.
that create lexical cohesiveness from an
44 45 existing exemplar sample essay and ask
students to fill in the blanks with the list
of words.
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